It’s not Manifesting, It’s About Believing in Allah’s plan.

A reflection, written from Makkah Al-Mukarramah.

I think you have seen how I write my dreams in a post-it and cut it into lines so I could stick it in my diary according to the date when it happened. You may want to check that writing here. Looking at my tweet above, it translates to

“I believe that Allah has planned everything in the best way possible. I don’t know which one will comes first; going for a masters degree, getting married, going for umra, or other dreams of mine. But, I put my trust in Allah, He must have prepared the timeline for it to come true one by one beautifully”

And yes, it all comes out very much beautifully.

The timeline is perfect. If I were to repeat it, I would go for the same path: failing my attempt to have masters degree for several time and have this as an outcome.

Being accepted at Lund exactly before 1 week of our planned engagement was the best scenario because only by which our parents agree to rush the wedding and we have engagement and wedding at the same day, July 2023. Having been married right before going for the masters study was perfect because then he could accompany me. His existence is more than just a support system, he makes my life much easier and makes my master study so far being so enjoyable. Further, my mom also has this worriness of me going abroad alone. So, having him by my side give the assurance to my mom that I am gonna be okay.

Being married and live in Sweden for a master study is also allow us to have the umra much easier. First, I don’t have to worry about the mahram as I have him, my husband. Second, living in Sweden allows us to get e-visa, by which obtaining it is super easy so we can have the trip to do umra without any travel agent. Third, being able to plan the umra independently allows us to adjust the time and budget according to our availability at the moment.

فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. I have been in tears since before I come to Makkah, and now that I’m here, my eyes are fully swollen. Happy tears, alhamdulillah. Allah, is so kind. And this moment gave me the realization that I didn’t manifest — I put my trust in Allah.

If you look again at my tweet in the beginning, it is clear that I leave what I want up to Allah’s plan, because he is indeed the best of the Planner.

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ

O Turner of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your Din.

Allah is The Turner of hearts — I take this to see that any desire, any dreams, anything that my heart wants, it is Allah who plants it there. It is Allah who gives me that desire, dream, and wants. I trust that Allah will not let me have it without any purpose — meaning, Allah will make it comes true or Allah is trying to gives us lessons to be learned.

I had the desire to do a master study since 2020, right when I finished my bachelor. However, it only comes true in 2023. The failure of achieving it for 3 years was sad, but I didn’t delve deep into the sadness as I believe it is Allah’s direction, and it is indeed.

For this year, I also have a lot of dreams as you may know from the post I attached in the beginning. The way I write it in the post it, it’s not me manifesting — it’s me keeping track of what desires Allah has let my heart moves towards to.

Some dreams are coming even faster than I expected, and that’s Allah’s way to makes me remember Him and to be always grateful for what He gives to me. Some dreams, on the other hand, are clearly cannot come true — not even next year because the moment for it to come true has passed. I take this as Allah’s way to make me turn back to Him — I’ll have the sadness, but then Allah will ease it. I’ll have the pain, but then there’s good in being patient.

Everything that happens in our life is Allah’s way of reminding us to remember Him & always get closer to Him.

That’s among one of the quotes I always keep in my mind. Remembering it, no matter how small or big the pain I have to go through, I always think that this is Allah’s way to remind me of Him again. Remembering that no matter how small or big the blessing I received, I always think that this is only possible because Allah allow it to happen. Alhamdulillah

Leave your plan to Allah — as he’s the one who makes you plan it and moves your heart. Leave your plan to Allah — as he’s the best of the Planner.

May Allah guide us always, & may you learned something from this writing.