How Learning to See The Beauty in ‘Waiting’ Have Made Me A More Mindful Person.

Many of us may have said that

“we hate waiting”

We see that waiting as such a waste of time. We demand everything to be fast, quick, as soon as possible, shorten the waiting time, and one in for all to cut anything related to waiting.

Here I am, contrast to most of you who hates waiting, I love waiting. Quiet… pretty much, in fact. Not that I have a very high patience level, no, but I have started to see the beauty in waiting to the point that I love it and always make myself being found in the waiting phase. Okay so perhaps before I tell you how it helps me in becoming a more mindful person, let’s first talk about how I started to see the beauty in waiting, which perhaps to most of you sounds like crazy.

Well, I think this all began with some not-so-long distance of a not-so-much of a relationship I had with someone back when I was in high-school, in 2014–2015. We cannot always meet but there are times when we can arrange a meeting, or meet unintentionally. I have always been eager to wait for that day to come and no matter how much I can’t wait to see him, I found myself enjoying the process quite much because the excitement when it’s finally time is worth of all the waiting. Waiting taught me a feeling that no other events or moments can.

In 2018, when I was in college, I always set a certain day to go to my favorite coffee house chain, and I’ll be waiting for that day to come. I’ll hold every desire to go to that place in an instant because I was broke and I need a “promotional day” to make myself go there. So, when it was ‘tumbler day’ or ‘buy 1 get 1’ day, ‘50% discount’ day, or anything with promo, that will make me be like

“this is the day, let’s go there, finallYYY!!”

haha that moment, remembering this makes me laugh a lot while writing this.

And so from that moment, although often times I find it quite annoying too, to wait, I started to shift my perspective and convinced myself that this will be worth it. The joy and excitement that comes in the end of the road of waiting cannot be compared to anything else, and that feeling can only come from a waiting moment, not from anything else. With this in mind, I find myself now do lots of waiting today.

I started to love on going K-Dramas, I even avoid to watch ones that has full episodes coming out all at once (unless I have so many free time and need something to watch). I love the moment of being curious of what’s gonna happen in the next episode, the period of guessing, of taking time to enjoy to the fullest of the latest episode, and on top of everything, the joy and excitement when

“it’s time for the new episode tonight!”

Ah, what a joy.

I started to held back my desires. At times, I find myself wanting to eat some good food, something special that not because I need it (re: hungry) but I want it because… I just want it. My mind tells me that the food in mind looks so delicious and that my mouth becomes watery wanting that food this instant. However, me having seen the beauty of waiting, often times hold my desire and set a certain time to enjoy it. Saying “Ah, let’s get that this weekend” when I actually can purchase it right this instant, gives me so much more than just the joy when its time. At some moment when holding back my desire, I often make a plan for it. Say for example I am craving for an ice cream, I will not make a purchase directly but I’d picture seeing myself on weekend enjoying a good movie while eating a good ice cream. I’ll keep that in mind and set a date for it to happen. Not only I finally get what I have been wanting (the ice cream) but this, in a short sense, give me a feeling of “dreams do come true”. Because I dreamt it for days!

Well, you don’t really have to hold it for days too actually. You can dream it to happen tomorrow so you can have that instant feeling of “dreams do come true!” Quick example, I’m holding my desire to enjoy a chocolate tonight because I have brushed my teeth. I’m dreaming that I’ll have that comfort food tomorrow and you’ll see me making that very dream come true tomorrow :)

So, all in all, seeing the beauty in waiting have made me someone who enjoy waiting. It is very okay to wait for my bus to come because there’s nothing I can do to make it come faster anyway. It is very okay for me to wait for my friend being open to me because I cannot force him to tell what he doesn’t want to trust me with at the moment. It is very okay for me to wait for my time to come because… I can wait.

Waiting has indirectly made me think of my desire as well. It makes me reassess whether I really need it or I just want it. This case happens mostly for shopping moments. I have been holding my desire to make a purchase of new fashion item because I need to reassess whether I really need it or I just want it. I finally know that I have to make that purchase because in so many moments in my days recently, I faced some difficulties and the thought that come instantly is “if only I have that, this will become easier”. That very thought come so many times that it convinced me, “Okay, let’s buy it this weekend”. Again, I still give a sense of another “waiting” so when it’s the weekend, I’d be like “I finally have youuuuuu!”

Re-thinking of my desire whether it is a ‘need’ or a ‘want’ has helped me from making an impulsive purchase(sssss). Knowing that everything has its time and place has put my mind at ease that the waiting is after all a necessary process to go there and seeing the beauty in it will only make life become easier and more enjoyable. I know that there’s nothing that I can do to make whatever I am waiting for comes faster, then why bother stressing about it?

Back to the story from 2018, I still love that coffee house chain so much until now. Even better because I can go there without having to wait for any promotional day. But I still wait for promotional day to go there HAHA. Other than enabling me to feel the joy of “It’s time! It’s time! It’s time!” this actually has helped with controlling my expenses, my caffeine intake, my time spent in the coffee place. All in all, this have made me someone who go to that coffee place in the right time and have always been able to enjoy it to the fullest.

I realized that waiting is an easy thing and we can see the beauty in it when we know when it’ll ends. However, for ones which ends cannot be seen yet, sometime waiting feels much harder. I agree. However, if you’re able to understand the joy, the excitement, and every bit process of waiting, even when there’s no visible ending in the near future, you’ll still patiently wait. Try to hold on with the thought that it might happen tomorrow. Even when it’s not, try to believe it will happen tomorrow (again). It might not be easy, but that’s what make a patient person is special.

Try to see the beauty in waiting.

Try to separate what you can control and you cannot control. You cannot control the length of the waiting be it making it shorter or longer because everything has its time and place. But, you can for sure control your thoughts, responses, behavior, and mindfulness while waiting. If we can wait for even the tiniest thing to happen, we can wait for big things to come as well. It’s just… that’s the process that we have to go through, isn’t it?

I hope you can learn something and learn to see the beauty of waiting as well.

Oh, and thank you for waiting for my newest story to come, if any of you waited.

Love,
Anin.