Everything Indeed Has Its Own Time & Place.

Suara Senar Nirwana ⑇
10 min readJul 15, 2023

and I was blessed.

You may end up on this page because of a notification from your e-mail telling that suaranirwana that you susbcribed to has just posted a new story. You may as well end up on this story because you were casually looking for some random stories to read, oh welcome. Oh and you may as well previously were reading the story on my instagram, clicked my profile, go to the website attached on my bio, and ended up on this very sentence. Whichever scenario relates to you, you were somehow has been brought by the universe to be here and so I have been.

I would like to tell you a very pleasant surprise that made my eye teary. Universe, has recently given me blessing(ssss), at the moment I wasn’t very expecting it.

فَبِأَيِّ آَلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

“Which, then, of your Lord’s blessings do you both deny?”

It’s Lund.

Since I attained my bachelor degree, I have put attaining a master degree among my next plan. And just somehow, I see that attaining it as soon as possible would be better for my next plan considering the career I want to build require a more advanced knowledge of the industry. Thus why, since 2020, right after graduation, I prepared myself for applying to a master studies.

It’s Lund. Has always been Lund. Maybe it’s because part of me was left there in 2019, but maybe also because of it’s calmness, or its serendipity. However, one thing for certain, I want to study something that Sweden is very much advanced of, and Lund Uni has the program that attract my heart the most. I’ve done swimming around the internet finding the perfect program, city, university, and everything in between for my master study, and just somehow, I found that it’s Lund’s Master Program in Innovation and Global Sustainable Development.

My dream industry, to put it simply, is a combination between innovation, sustainability, enterprise, environment, and relevant policies, all packaged in a consulting firm. After reading the aforementioned program’ syllabus, my heart beats so fast thinking how exciting it would be to study this program. I prepared my application so thoroughly, I make sure that I submitted everything perfectly, and I waited for the result with high hopes.

2 times, 2 failures.

It hurts so much but I guess that was part of how I improve myself, my thought, my composure. Then, suddenly in 2022 after being failed for another time applying to that program, I was told by my friend that there is this program that match very much with my dream, it is called the “Environmental Management and Policy” and upon reading the syllabus, my heart felt the excitement of thinking me studying all the subjects and mastering the knowledge. I told myself that this is the one. This is. The one.

So here comes the 2023 round of application, my another chance of applying. However, upon applying, I was very confused on which program my heart actually desire. I compared both program’ syllabus, I looked at everyone’s instagram who is currently studying there (reference from the Lund Uni instagram account), I read the alumni’s testimonials, but my heart still can’t seem to decide as I fell in love with both programs.

It’s just… magically there, the universe helped me.

The Innovation and Global Sustainable Development program was closed for application for 2023 intake. I was sad but I got clarity that I’ll just shot my chance to the other program my heart fell to, the Environmental Management and Policy. And so it goes.

I took quite a very good time of preparing all the needed documents. I’ve failed 2 times, I learned from my mistakes, and thankfully I was peacefully off from work because I was just laid off from my last company and their severance pay gives me more than just enough to survive while I prepare for my study and not making any income at all. So I was confident that my application this time would be a good goal. That this time for now, I’ll succeed.

I wasn’t.
Or perhaps, the universe just said, no.. not yet.

March 31st 2023, I looked at the result and I was put on a reserve, just like my 2 other applications in 2021 and 2022. It feels like… “Ah, here we go again”. So I was sad, I mean who wouldn’t be when it comes to another failure, but I guess I was sad better. I handled it better, I believe that just like last year, Allah has a better plan for me.

I failed to secure a master degree in 2021, but at the time when I would’ve been in Lund if I was accepted, Allah gave me something better. I was able to be a part of the team who build totally a new sustainable venture in my office, I was able to have a trip with my big family in Turkey, I was able to had a vacation with my bestfriend in Bali, I was able to be reconnected with so many long-lost friends, I was also able to somehow spend a very good time working in Jakarta and going back to my hometown once a month. And so in 2022, when I failed, I thought of the same thing.

I failed to go to attain my master degree in 2022 (again), but at the time when I would’ve been in Lund if I was accepted, Allah introduced me to new peoples from new company I worked in that turns out to be among one of my good friends until today. I was given the opportunity to experience how it feels like to be laid off from a big company and somehow get to enjoy their severance pay and a free macbook on top of that. I was given the chance to explore my late father’s family’ current hometown and feels the blessings of having an extended family.

And so I told myself as well that I faced another failure this year, I believe that Allah has a better plan for me. I still believe that somehow, someday, my dream will do come true because I ever read a quote saying something along

“God will not put a desire into your heart unless it is meant for you. Even if it is not meant for you, you will learn something from having that desire”

And so that’s why I still believe in my dream. Even if it means that it has to be postponed to another year, I was okay.

The Dreams Start To Come True.

June 2023, I got this news that surprisingly, I scored a goal at the LPDP scholarship on my first try. I have never applied to this scholarship before because going back home was not initially on my plan. However, in late 2022, I see a reason to go back home. I see it and so I also thought why not giving it a try to LPDP because I have nothing to lose anyway, and funny thing is I actually put LPDP as my backup plan shall that I didn’t secure the Swedish Institute’ Scholarship (SISGP), so I didn’t really prepare at all.

I didn’t secure it ofcourse, the SISGP, not even Lund. But actually, I could just go and have my master study this year, but not in Lund. I secured a place at both The University of Edinburgh and The University of Manchester. However, somehow, my heart doesn’t flatter at the thought of going there this year and studying my master in either city in UK. I put both university just to fill in all the opportunity given by the LPDP instead of leaving it empty. I was also tho, giving myself some plan B as well if I didn’t get Lund this year, which is actually the case. However, my heart just doesn’t feel like UK is the one.

So I thought to myself, let’s give Lund another chance. LPDP gives us the time to find LoA as long as 18 months anyway, and both Manchester and Edinburgh gave us the option of deferring our study. So, I see nothing bad in postponing the plan for another year, give Lund another chance, and at least even if in the end I had to go to either Edinburgh or Manchester after failing Lund for another time, I know I had given all my might to Lund. And so that’s the plan. That’s the case.

Let’s get married.

I found the one. I can’t imagine my future without him and so I introduce him to my mother and we plan that since I am not going to a master degree, at least not this year, let’s get married first and support each other to reach each other’ dream, which for my case, he is super supportive when it comes to my dream of attaining a master degree. And so our family agreed that hey, let’s get both of them to be engaged in early July and plan the wedding to be held later in November 2023. That’s amazing. I thought that this is Allah’s plan. I didn’t get to attain my master degree this year and so Allah gave me the opportunity to start my own family, to begin a married life starting this year. I was blessed. and so that’s the plan, I was happy enough, and then the universe made me even happier.

The Universe Made Me Happier.

Right after I took an ablution the morning of 1 week before my planned engagement day, Saturday 24 June 2023, I read this email. I cried so hard because progressing from being reserved has never happened to me in my previous attempts. Further, I didn’t secured any scholarship before but not this year, I have secured LPDP and if I get the spot, I’ll go. I will go to attain my master degree this year in the university I’ve been wanting for so long, in the program my heart fell to so hard. I was estatic even just with the chance, and it made my eye teary. So I told my family that it is very likely, that there is a high chance, that I will go to Lund this year and study in the program I’ve been wanting for so long. Like.. this, finally.

Magically, upon knowing the news, both families somehow agreed to turn our planned engagement day next week to be a.. wedding day. YES, and so I and my lover, we both get married with just one week preparation. Hang in there, there is going to be another story completely about how this 1-week-prepared wedding actually brings so much blessings, but for now, let’s go back to the story about my master.

Right on my birthday, the offer finally came. It is funny how actually, few days before, I was a bit hopeless because the person who contacted me once told me that the students were then completed. That there is no longer available spot. So in a sense, my chance was gone. However again, magically, my heart feel at ease. I know so well that even if the chance is cancelled, that I have to go back to my initial plan of attempting another application and prolly starting to study my master next year, Allah has a better plan for me. Maybe He wanted me to enjoy more time with my friends-now-husband surrounded by our families first for now, maybe He wanted me to have more of a good time in Indonesia, maybe also He wanted to see how persistence I am with the dreams I want to achieve. And so I was okay but I was blessed. Right on my birthday, the letter came. And I am now certainly given the chance to start my study in the university I’ve been eyeing for, in the program my heart has fallen in love with.

It is indeed, amazing.

How Allah planned everything perfectly.

If the announcement were to be given to me that March 31st, I wouldn’t have had the chance to introduce my lover to my mom, we wouldn’t even see wedding in our plan this year because my main priority would be finishing my study and my lover also has his own priority of achieving his own dreams. However, since the announcement came after we plan everything for our engagement day which will makes lots of people feels so bad if we cancel it, universe made it super easy for both of us, both of our families, and all related parties to turn the supposedly engagement day into our wedding day.

Just… amazing. Even writing this still made my eye teary upon how Allah is so kind to me. Allah is so kind to all of us. He allows me to be united with my lover first so we can help each other building the perfect environment for both of us reach our shared and our own dreams, goals, desires. I never for a second doubted his loyalty and support for me, and Allah gave him to me in the best time and the best way possible.

Lesson Learned from me for me and all of us.

So.. that’s the story. I hope you can learn that do not ever give up on your dream. Universe always has its own way in giving you what you need. Again, even if your dream didn’t come true until the end of the day, it must have given you a lesson. Maybe you become more resillient while trying to achieve that dream. Maybe you were allowed to get closer to Him while trying to ask for His help. Maybe you develop yourself to become a better person from the process of preparing for that dream.

So if you find yourself in some hardships today, be patient and hang in there. The fruit of being patient is super sweet although doing it is not easy.

And so, always believe that everything has its own time and place,

and also believe that whatever was taken from you, God will replace it with something that is way much much much better.

Love,
anin

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Suara Senar Nirwana ⑇

This is Anin’s public diary consist of her opinion, experience, and thoughts.