7 — A Letter to 6 Years Old Me.

Anin | Suara Senar Nirwana ⑇
3 min readJul 31, 2024

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In short, this is about how thankful I am that you dare to dream a big dream. Concisely, I thank you for teaching me of what your heart calls.

I don’t particularly remember lots of details about you but I have photos and some writings that lead me to those hopes and dreams and wants you innocently wished to come true deep inside your heart.

I don’t celebrate birthdays anymore at this age, you will understand why, but you just had one of the best birthday you ever had — in 6 years of living. I mean, how many could you already have to compare to already said it was the best one? Oh innocent little me, it is indeed the best because how could it not be when we get a giant minnie mouse doll that is taller than we were from our uncle & aunt. A few hours later we headed to go to one of our favorite place in Bandung: distro in jalan Dago.

Bandung was, and still up to today tho, a comfort and loving place to visit. I don’t think I can live in Bandung tho, I just like to visit it and enjoy being a tourist there. I know you had exactly the same thought because back then you wanted to grow up and live in Jakarta — tell you what, we don’t want this too now. One thing that makes me particularly fond of you is your persistence in writing your diary has lead me to be who I am today.

Oh I am in love with writing, as you do. Not in a poetic kind of way, but more expressive and untangling the spaghetti bowl of thoughts and feeling. You did this too when your favorite uncle and aunt left Indonesia for Germany and live there for a while — a while that seems soooo long because you grow, your favorite little cousin that is not so little anymore today is also growing.

I remember us telling mom that we miss them, that we want to go to Germany, but that was plain impossible — even our parents had never gone abroad at that time. However, one could dream fearlessly, and we did. We keep Germany through our letters that were never sent. We write letters and letters addressed to our uncle in Bochum, Germany, but the furthest that letter has ever gone was from my room to my mom’s hand which she responded with

“Do you want to go to Europe? You could be a journalist or a diplomat — then you could travel the world!”

Of course you didn’t know what a journalist or diplomat was but a simple explanation from mom telling us that it’s people on the news and go international build our expectation that you firmly said

“ I want to travel Europe and go to Germany”.

That too, you had no idea what Europe was, right. But we believe our mom when she told us that Germany is in Europe and we should go there, travel Europe. Oh, well, we don’t necessarily grow up as journalist or diplomat — almost, I would say. The desire is there, the attempt taken, but our path didn’t lead us there — or not yet. Who knows, I might actually be a journalist or a diplomat one day — none of my current education and career blocks that path. However, one thing for sure has come true: traveling Europe.

Back in 2019, we traveled Europe 2 times: solo, yes, SOLO during autumn and with someone we respect & care during winter. It was 15 years apart, we were already in our beginning of our twenties, but the dream was not at all late. It was on time, perfectly.

Remembering you, remembering that I did travel the Europe 15 years later has ignited a spark of bravery to dream again — regardless of how crazy my dream sounds. I have a lot of dreams now, in fact, but sometimes I wonder if that would ever come true. However, reflecting on you, you didn’t bother whether it will come true or not, you just believe that one day it will.

I have list of dreams and I believe that no matter how long it takes, it might actually come true. Among the dreams I have listed, two of them are being a journalist and a diplomat ☺

Love,

26yo Anin.

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Anin | Suara Senar Nirwana ⑇

A Muslim | Environment & Sustainable Development Policy student-researcher. Love to turn my experiences and perspectives into writings to be read widely 🍉✨🇮🇩